Samaritans

I've always thought of myself as a nice person.

1. I try to help friends when I can, although I am beginning to think I shouldn't because they never help me when I need help!
2. I am a good listener. 
3. I am also a very good motivator. I don't know how I do it. I can work the charm on others, but I can never work it on me! *waving magic wand* Nah. Still not working.
4. I can't think of more now, but I am sure I can write at least a hundread points if I think real hard.

The fact that I've started every sentence above with an I should imply that I am selfish, but I refuse to think so! Right until about 7pm today, I thought of myself as a nice, lovely person, then something happened and now I think I might not be that nice after all. 

Most Rapid KL buses here require people to have exact change. The bus drivers might give change to some people (the attractive ones, obviously), and the not so lucky ones in the looks department have to leave the bus disappointed if all they have in their hand is a red note. Months ago, this happened to a girl. Nobody offered to pay for her and she had to leave the bus. A few months after that, a man had no change, but a very kind person in the bus paid for him and he was all smiles. Today, I was standing right there within and arm's length when I witnessed a man with only a red note in his hand. He was probably illiterate and maybe not even Malaysian. He just kept waiting there, hoping the bus driver would give him change for the red note, but the bus driver didn't even try helping. I was there, I did nothing! A very nice lady next to me dug her purse and was quite disappointed that she didn't have change for the red note. The bus driver was about to tell the man to leave when she offered RM1 to the man. God bless her soul. She was so kind! All times this happened, I have extra RM1 notes in my purse, but I never helped. I just stand there and watch. It's like when I was back in school and my teacher would ask the class a question. I know the answer, but I never answer. In my head, I raise my hand and answer the question. In reality, I look down and try to avoid eye contact. What I practiced in school has come to haunt me in my twenties. I hesitate to help people! I mean, for the love of God, a blind man walked into me last week and I just stood there thinking what to do! I always wonder how would one help a blind person. Do you just guide him away from obstacles or do you guide him to his destination? 

I think I am beginning to display signs of being a successful actuary. I just think of everything and before I am done thinking, the problem is solved by a good samaritan. God bless their souls!

Starting tomorrow, I will try being nice too. Maybe offer RM1 once a month (I am no Onassis. So once a month is already very generous on my part.) to the person on the bus who needs it. Guide a blind person who walks into me. And most of all, practice making good decisions in a split second!!! No hesitating!!!